Beginnings
by Caster21
Summary: My first fan fiction; This is the untold story of Moiraine Damodred and Siuan Sanche. Rated M for explicit adult themes F/F romance . Disclaimer: I do not own Wheel of Time... obviously. Constructive feedback welcome!


The last of the water carriers left her quarters and the steaming bath stood ready for her, but the Amyrlin Seat paced the room. There had still been no word from Moiraine.  
"Light, where is she?" Siuan Sanche muttered under her breath. It was late evening, and the mid-winter weather was getting her down. Worse still, Moiraine should have been back from her latest search for the Dragon Reborn days ago, but there was no sign of her yet.

Since meeting in the White Tower at the start of their training together, this had been the longest period of time the pair had ever been apart, and Siuan had suffered every moment of it. She walked over to her obscenely large bed and sat down. The bath would relax her, help her to sleep. She sighed. It seemed forever since the Dragon Reborn was just a prophecy, but she longed for those times to relive again. The happiest days of her live; her days with Moiraine.

* * *

Through their studies as Novices, then Accepted, the women had been inseparable. Moiraine Damodred was a Cairhienin noble by birth and therefore well versed in the ways of Daes Dae'mar. This meant she usually managed to mask her true feelings well, as required of all Aes Sedai, but every young woman needed a shoulder to cry on at times. Siuan Sanche, who came from a hard life as the daughter of a Tairen fisherman, had always been there to provide it for her. Of course, Moiraine was quick to provide similar comfort to Siuan on the rare occasion she required it.

It seemed to calm Moiraine simply to be within the steely blue-eyed gaze of the Tairen young woman, and the feeling was mutual. As a result, they were barely apart, quickly becoming pillow friends, though in the most innocent meaning of the term. Unlike other students and the occasional Aes Sedai, neither Siuan nor Moiraine had taken a lover during their stay at the White Tower. There were plenty of candidates to choose from; the young men who were learning to be Warders at Tar Valon were the source of distraction for many of the Aes Sedai-to-be, especially those intending to take the Green such as their friend Myrelle, but Moiraine and Siuan were content with their studies, and each other's company. When the pair were raised to Accepted, the larger beds each received in their new rooms were most welcome, but having been used to sleeping pressed tightly together, they usually found themselves tangled in the mornings. However, after the start of the Aiel war in their third year as Accepted, things changed between them.

It seemed an eternity to Siuan since Moiraine and she had simultaneously managed to take a break from their studies and the teaching of Novices. One particularly beautiful evening, after a long walk through woodlands across the river from Tar Valon, the two young women made their way back to the Tower. They had enjoyed their freedom during the day, but were already becoming subdued by the prospect of tomorrow, and the return to their usual routines.

While leisurely strolling back across wide fields dotted with ancient trees, chatting about their day free of White Tower business, they were caught by a sudden downpour. The day had been humid and sticky, and both women were tired from their exercise, so they took their time as they headed for the nearest cover, laughing and enjoying the rain as it cooled them.

In the fading light, huddled under the wide canopy of a tree in their damp banded Accepted dressed, Siuan, the slightly taller and more self-assured of the two, glanced at Moiraine and chuckled. The Cairhienin's dark hair, normally styled in immaculate ringlets, was soaked and hung limp. Two or three thick strands were plastered to the young woman's face.  
"To look at you now, no one would imagine you were one of the most promising Accepted in the Tower for the last hundred years or so." Siuan teased. "Come; let me repair some of the damage."  
Moiraine momentarily rolled her eyes before conceding to Siuan's request. Looking back up at her, Siuan's shoulder-length dark hair in similar disarray, she commented  
"You're hardly a picture of perfection yourself right now Siuan... And you know full well that you are the more talented of us".  
Not rising to the argument the two had had innumerable times before, Siuan grinned down at the other Accepted, and gently smoothed the hair from Moiraine's face. As she curled the wet locks around her ear, Siuan lingered a moment, admiring Moiraine's stunning features. Was it just the way her face glistened with rain that grabbed Siuan's attention and held it so tightly?

She ran her fingertips down and along Moiraine's jawbone. No, the incredible beauty had always been present, but Siuan was now acutely aware of it, and the realisation was accompanied by a roaring in her ears that refused to subside. The feeling was similar to the emotion one felt as they embraced Saidar. She checked herself to make sure that wasn't in fact the case.

Moiraine's dark eyes lifted and locked onto Siuan's. The last remnants of the broad smile faded from the taller woman's lips, as Moiraine raised her own hand and placed it on the other's face, mirroring Siuan's stance. Looking down into those dark pools, her hand lightly stroked Moiraine's flawless face, and the realisation of what she was feeling struck Siuan like lightning. Her thoughts must have been plain on her face; Moiraine's own expression, hard to read by anyone except Siuan, also showed the briefest signs of recognition. Siuan trembled slightly as Moiraine's hand slid around to the back of her head, fingers tangling in her long wet hair, which hung just past her shoulders.

Moiraine's eyes lowered to Siuan's mouth, and her lips parted slightly. Heavy droplets of water pelted down around them as Moiraine slowly drew Siuan's face closer to her own. Not usually one to give into temptation, Siuan resisted at first. What was happening? Moiraine was looking at her almost longingly, her lips looked so inviting.

Finally, giving into the overwhelming power that seemed to be driving her, Siuan took a tiny step forward. Their bodies pressed together as she moved her own hand around behind Moiraine's head. Siuan's eyes slid closed, and she bent to kiss Moiraine softly.

When their lips met, Siuan felt the true source burst through her. The ecstasy of the One Power, combined with the emotion of the moment, almost took her breath away. Instantly, she became aware of another sensation, a tingling throughout her whole body. She knew what that meant before she opened her eyes ever so slightly to confirm her suspicions. Moiraine had also surrounded herself with Saidar, and was shining like a beacon.

The women angled their heads slightly as the kiss deepened, feeling the hot breath of the other against their faces. Siuan very nearly lost her footing when Moiraine's delicate tongue gently probed her lips, then found its way through, slowly dipping in and out of her mouth. Siuan followed the example, which produced a small groan from the other woman. That sound stirred feelings inside Siuan that she did not know she was capable of experiencing; she pressed her lean body closer. Moiraine pressed back, her spare hand going to the small of Siuan's back, sending shockwaves of pure pleasure through the blue eyed Accepted. Siuan's other hand found Moiraine's waist, resting there a moment before lowering, and trailing down her thigh. Moiraine let out another drawn-out sound as she renewed her intensity in kissing the Tairen.

The tension was enormous. Before she lost control of her legs completely, Siuan reluctantly pulled away, and broke the kiss. For an instant, she noted Moiraine's eyebrows knit together in disappointment, before the Aes Sedai mask covered her face again. Moiraine's look held Siuan's eyes for a few moments more, then they both looked away, releasing their hold on one another.

As abruptly as it had begun, the rain stopped. The glow around each woman dimmed down and eventually vanished, before either of them dared to speak. Regaining most of her composure, Siuan broke the silence first. Looking ahead across the fields, she stammered  
"Moiraine, I'm sorry. You just…, I mean I…"  
"No, the blame lies with me." Moiraine cut in.  
Turning towards the shorter woman, intent on pressing her opinion until Moiraine stopped trying to take responsibility, Siuan's breath caught in her throat for a moment. Moiraine was facing her, regarding her coolly and not looking the least bit flustered.  
"That's not true, I touched your face and…" she let the unspoken words hang in the air.  
"Do you regret it?"  
Siuan spun to fully face the Cairhienin woman, mixed emotions clear on her face. "I should work on that", a small voice said in the back of her mind; "Aes Sedai must remain calm in all circumstances. Light, this is surely a tough test of that, one that I see Moiraine has passed with flying colours!"  
Determined to not be bested, Siuan battled back the emotions and replied in a voice that displayed no hint of her inner turmoil,  
"Regret it? Why should I do that? It was a pleasant experience, nothing more." As soon as the last words had escaped her lips, lips wet from Moiraine, she knew them to be false. Her knees were still unsteady beneath her dress, hidden, thankfully. In all her life, she had not been as moved as she was for the minute or so that kiss had lasted. An unreadable emotion flickered across Moiraine's face, and then was gone.  
"Very well, the matter is forgotten. We shall not speak of it again." She looked away and sniffed, plucking at her dress, which clung to her in places where the rain had soaked through.

Moiraine's reaction cut deep, but what was Siuan to do? Their friendship was as important to her as her training in the White Tower, the thought of a rift between them was unbearable. What if she had read Moiraine's reaction incorrectly? Burn her determination to appear so void of feelings, even if it was required of them! Surely it wasn't necessary between the two of them, between pillow friends. Pillow friends! Thoughts entered her mind unbidden, what if the incident had taken place at night, in their dark bed chambers. Would they have stopped? What else would have happened, how far would it have gone? Thinking of the possibilities, Siuan's fair skin turned a dark shade of pink, but she couldn't stop the imagery floating through her mind. She tore her eyes from Moiraine's face, trying to focus on something else.

Instead, Siuan caught herself looking at a damp patch on the shorter woman's clothing. The rain had soaked her shoulders, and the strap of Moiraine's shift was clearly visible through her Accepted's dress. She had seen Moiraine in her shift hundreds of times, even admired the beautiful figure the woman possessed, but now those memories seemed sharper, and each time she thought of being alone with Moiraine, "Light, in just her shift!", her heart almost stopped.  
"The rain has cleared up, we should head back. Merean Sedai will have us scrubbing pots for a month if we're late." Moiraine broke the silence as if the thick tension between the two was non-existent.

As she started off in the direction of the White Tower which loomed in the distance, Siuan's eyes followed her for a moment before calling out,  
"Moiraine, we need to talk about this. I didn't mean what I said…" Never one to run from anything, Siuan was determined not to bury the incident. But words failed her for a moment. She had to know how Moiraine felt, and the only way was to ask her outright. Would this spoil their friendship forever? Her heart leapt, as Moiraine spun, then slowly walked back towards her. Again, Siuan could have sworn she caught a fleeting glimpse of something cross Moiraine's perfect visage.  
"Do not doubt the strength of our bond, Siuan. I'm certain we could endure more than a simple kiss, and still remain as close as before. Maybe more so, who knows?"  
Siuan's cheeks burned as her previous thoughts returned to her in a rush, and she looked down at her feet. Moiraine's boots appeared in her view, and she raised her head a little to find herself looking right into those midnight pools. Moiraine was smiling ever so slightly,  
"We'll talk tonight, it's your turn to play hostess I believe?"  
Siuan grinned, relief flooding her. The women had shared Moiraine's room for the last couple of nights, so it was time to swap back to hers. It was good to have the company of the other, but having one's own possessions at hand was just as nice. However, before Siuan could reply, Moiraine leaned forward and covered her mouth with another kiss.

Breaking off the tender contact after a few seconds, Moiraine looked a little embarrassed, something Siuan had rarely seen from her friend, before quickly saying,  
"Right, let's get back. I'm no fonder of pots than I am of the switch. If we return any later, we risk both!" She turned and began making her way back towards the Tower again. Siuan's smile returned slowly; raising an eyebrow to herself as she allowed memories of Moiraine in her shift to return to her mind, she ran to catch up with the dark haired Cairhienin.

* * *

They had returned to the White Tower by the appointed time, narrowly avoiding trouble with Merean. Moiraine went to her room to bathe, and collect her usual overnight belongings. Siuan had also bathed; the aches from walking through miles of woodland melting away as she reclined in the steaming hot water, just how she liked it. By the time there was a soft knock on her door some time later, Siuan was relaxed, despite the events earlier in the evening.

She cracked open the door, and Moiraine was there in the hallway, cloak wrapped tightly around her, with a bundle of clothing under her arm for the morning. Siuan ushered her in to the candlelit bedroom. The White Tower grew cold at night, even in the summer months.

Placing her bundle on the floor by the bed, Moiraine shrugged out of her cloak, under which, she wore a fresh Accepted's dress. She sat on the edge of Siuan's bed and wordlessly began unlacing her boots. It was something she had done dozens of times before in the Tairen's presence, but this time, it seemed to be a display that Siuan's eyes simply must see. It was proving as hard to resist as a Gleeman's show. When the second boot was off, Siuan jumped as she realised the other woman had been aware of her staring. Moiraine's face showed the faintest hint of a smile. Standing, she said quietly  
"Come,"  
Towering over the barefoot Moiraine, Siuan helped the shorter woman out of her dress, then Moiraine did the same for Siuan in return. Facing each other in their shifts, Siuan could not wait a moment longer:  
"So, that talk we were to have?"  
Moiraine raised an eyebrow,  
"What needs to be discussed Siuan?"  
"You said our friendship, our bond, can survive what happened today. I don't doubt that Moiraine, I just don't want to lose what we had." Clenching her teeth, she went on, "I feel differently since we kissed. Do you?"  
Looking down, Moiraine quietly but firmly said  
"No"  
Siuan's heart, already the victim of so much that day, sunk. She opened her mouth,  
"Oh, I see…"  
Moiraine's eyes, black in the dim light, came back up. She regarded Siuan for a moment, who was struggling for words, beginning to back away from the shorter woman. Quickly, grabbing the the other's arm, Moiraine said  
"Siuan, listen to me,"  
The Tairen froze, half tuned away from the other woman, unable to look at her. Moiraine's hand left Siuan's arm and reached up to her chin to gently turned her head back around, until Siuan's clear blue eyes looked into hers. Raising herself up on to her toes, bringing her face so close that Siuan could feel the dark haired beauty's breath on her cheek, Moiraine whispered  
"I've always wanted you, not just since the kiss…"  
The words, though softly spoken, hit Siuan like a hammer blow. Amazingly, she didn't react outwardly, except maybe to snap her mouth shut. Moiraine was still close, lips dangerously near to her own, hand still resting on her face. She wanted to think; think back for signs of truth in what Moiraine was saying. However, the shorter woman wasn't going to wait any longer.  
"Light, Siuan, kiss me…"  
Head swimming, she faced Moiraine and their lips met quickly. Moiraine breathed heavily, and Siuan was aware of the woman's chest heaving against her. She rested both hands on Moiraine's hips, gently caressing her though the thin fabric.

The Cairhienin seemed to forget her Aes Sedai composure, as she ran her fingers through Siuan's hair, nails occasionally digging in. She wrapped her other arm around the taller woman and let her hand fall to one of Siuan's tight buttocks. Siuan almost let out a surprised gasp at this, but managed to stifle it. However, Moiraine didn't show any intention of keeping quiet. She moaned softly as the two kissed. Siuan was just beginning to wonder if their sounds might draw the attention of anyone who happened to pass by her room. It was late, and the halls were almost in complete darkness, but that didn't mean people weren't still walking about.

She summoned all her willpower and broke the passionate kiss. The same disappointed look crossed Moiraine's features as before, but she didn't try to hide it this time. Smiling, Siuan glanced at the door and said,  
"I have a feeling we may be noticed tonight if someone should walk past,"  
Moiraine's dark eyes glinted and one corner of her mouth rose ever so slightly,  
"The same thought occurred to me while I was bathing"  
Siuan blushed furiously at the image that conjured in her mind, but a low laugh escaped Moiraine, and she crouched to the bundle of her belongings. After some rummaging, she brought out her blue stone. The pair of them had used the gem on numerous occasions to play tricks on other Novices and Accepted, it had a range of uses. Siuan felt a tingle as Moiraine surrounded herself with Saidar. The blue gem glowed for a few moments, and then Moiraine released her hold of the one power, placing the gem back among her belongings.  
"What did you do?" enquired Siuan suspiciously.  
"I placed a ward over the door. No sound will escape through it." Moiraine replied, sounding quietly pleased with herself. She turned back to face Siuan full on.  
"Now, no more interruptions. I've waited years for this."

Moiraine went to the bed, and laid back, propping herself up on one elbow. She outstretched her other arm towards Siuan. The Tairen took Moiraine's hand, and sat facing her. Looking at the dark woman's curves, only just hidden beneath her shift, Siuan didn't need any more encouragement. She leaned over and resumed their fiery kiss. Moiraine reclined fully, head resting on the pillows, taking Siuan with her. Afraid of crushing the smaller woman, Siuan was careful not to let her full weight onto Moiraine, but she soon felt hands pressing her down, tight against the body below her. The temperature in the room seemed to soar, as Siuan ran the tip of her tongue over Moiraine's lower lip, before plunging it into the other woman's waiting mouth, and Moiraine didn't try to control her moans as the woman above her grew in confidence.

Siuan could feel Moiraine's body against her though the thin fabric that was separating them. She raised herself slightly and shifted to one side of Moiraine, resting on her elbow. Moiraine's body, free of Siuan, writhed slightly beneath her shift. Siuan noted two hard points straining against the fabric stretched across Moiraine's chest. The Tairen had always admired Moiraine's figure, but now she appreciated it in a new light.

Looking into Moiraine's eyes, brimming with desire, Siuan traced her fingers down the other's shoulder, then arm, then across to her full chest. She circled the outline of Moiraine's nearest breast, and a thrill went through her as Moiraine pulled her head back down for another kiss with renewed passion. As Siuan's fingers slipped over Moiraine's nipple, Siuan tingled, and light shone through her closed eyelids. Moiraine had drawn on Saidar again.  
"Moiraine.." Siuan murmured  
"Sorry.." Came the reply in between their deep wet kisses, as the glow vanished. Light knows how they would explain the room set alight, should things get out of hand...

The point under Siuan's fingers grew harder, and she could feel her own body responding. Kissing Moiraine was almost moving her to tears, but she now longed to explore more than just her wondrous lips. She broke away from Moiraine's urgent kisses, but before the Cairhienin could complain, Siuan's mouth covered her hard nipple through the fabric of her shift. Moiraine arched her back as she let out another deep moan. Her hand came up and pressed the Tairen's head into her bosom. Siuan gently sucked the point, and then let her tongue circle it a little, before flicking over the sensitive peak. Wetness soaked through, and soon, it almost seemed to Siuan that there was no shift between her lips and Moiraine. That thought made her cheeks flush again. However, it did nothing to lessen the throb between her legs that was becoming more and more insistent.

Just then, Moiraine's other hand slid up the side of Siuan's body, and deft fingertips trailed across Siuan's own nipples through the fabric. She fought back the urge to cry out, as Moiraine turned her attention to one hardening point, then the other.

Taking her mouth away from Moiraine's delicious body, she looked down and noticed that the fabric of Moiraine's shift was transparent where she had made it wet with her tongue. Moiraine's nipple was plain to see through the material, and the blue eyed woman gasped. Moiraine glanced down to see what had caused the sharp intake of breath. Raising an eyebrow, she sat up.  
"Will you help me out of this?" she asked, looking down at Siuan, still propped on her elbow. Silently, Siuan rose to her knees, and Moiraine did the same. Facing each other, their eyes locked as they each gripped the hem of Moiraine's shift and tugged the garment off over her head.

Kneeling naked before Siuan, Moiraine trembled slightly, though she held her chin high. Siuan didn't dare take her eyes away from the Cairhienin's. After a moment or two of silence, Moiraine took Siuan's hands and placed them on her body, just below her breasts. Siuan closed her eyes as Moiraine moved forward and kissed her again. She moved her hands, feeling the warmth and softness of the other woman, but also noting a fine sheen of moisture developing. She realised then that her own shift was also clinging to her in places. Moiraine, having discovered this as well, whispered  
"You're hot too, take this off"  
Moiraine's one-sided grin was there to meet her when she opened her eyes. She was already holding the hem of Siuan's shift. The Tairen nodded, and the underclothing was soon lying discarded next to Moiraine's on the floor.

In the candlelight, they explored each other's bodies with their eyes. Any self-consciousness that Siuan might have felt was quickly washed away by the raw emotion she experienced when she gazed upon Moiraine's' perfect form. Moiraine reached out and softly touched Siuan's breasts again, this time unhindered by the cursed shift. The taller woman's head involuntarily rolled back, as her lover planted wet kisses on her neck, down her chest and eventually taking an erect point into her mouth. It was Siuan's turn to lie back, as Moiraine positioned herself over the other woman, straddling her, and continuing with her attention to Siuan's hard nipples. When both points were glistening and aching from the gentle sucking Moiraine had given them, she trailed her tongue down the blue eyed woman's firm stomach, and down over her smallclothes, almost making Siuan cry out.

Where their legs entwined, she could feel the wetness seeping through the other woman's smallclothes; a wetness she knew she had too. The aching was almost unbearable, and she guessed Moiraine was in a similar state, judging by the sounds coming from her as she slid her tongue down Siuan's thigh.

Siuan reached down, and pulled Moiraine back up to her. Lying down on their sides, facing one another, they took time to catch their breath. However, it wasn't long before Siuan's hands were travelling down Moiraine's breasts, which were moist with building perspiration, over her stomach and trailing along the edges of the other woman's smallclothes. Siuan moved her fingertips to Moiraine's inner thigh, starting them as low down as she could reach, and drew them back up towards Moiraine's most sensitive parts as slowly as she could. The Cairhienin's wetness had spread well past her smallclothes, and the very presence of Siuan's hand made the other woman shudder.  
"Siuan…" Moiraine whispered, almost pleadingly, as they looked into each other's eyes. She was squirming now. "Please touch me..."

Within seconds, Siuan's strong fingers had Moiraine's smallcothes off, and moments later, Moiraine had done the same with Siuan's. The women entwined their legs again and began another deep kiss, as their hands began exploring further. As her fingers found the source of Moiraine's wetness, Siuan was grateful for the ward the other woman had placed over the door. Moiraine's moans would have been heard throughout the whole tower, Siuan was sure. Not that she was complaining, of course. Moiraine was clearly having trouble controlling herself as Siuan's fingers lightly circled the other woman's slick outer lips. When she slipped a finger through to the even greater wetness inside, Moiraine's nails dug into Siuan's sweat-covered back, which was enough to make the taller woman bite her lip as she held back a squeal. Being no stranger to a woman's parts, she was a woman herself after all, Siuan slid her finger up and found the other woman's swollen clit.

"Oh Light..." Moiraine groaned into Siuan's neck, where her face was nuzzled, kissing the woman's neck in between gasps. A few strokes of this highly sensitive spot told Siuan that Moiraine was close to climaxing, and the idea nearly drove her over the edge herself. Just then, she felt Moiraine's fingers travelling down her stomach again, steadily making their way to the aching area between Siuan's legs.

Siuan's breathing sped up as one of Moiraine's fingers brushed her, teasing for a few moments, before sliding through the wetness as Siuan had done to her. The Tairen let out a curse, one more appropriate for a fisherman on the docks than a trainee Aes Sedai. The pleasure was building quickly in both of them.

Moiraine's mouth found the other woman's, as she gently slid her finger inside Siuan. A ripple of pure delight went through the Tairen; she moved her attention from Moiraine's clit and gently entered her, sliding her tongue into the gasping Cairhienin's mouth at the same time. Moiraine shuddered, and increased the tempo of her finger's movement in and out of Siuan. Siuan followed the other's example, and soon, they were panting with exertion, as the waves began to build in both of them.

Siuan's slick finger slipped out of Moiraine to return to the other woman's clit, and she felt Moiraine copy her actions. At Moiraine's touch on her most sensitive part, Siuan shuddered. She was breathless as she felt her orgasm approaching with an unstoppable force. Moiraine gasped, and Siuan felt nails digging into her back again. Then, looking into each other's eyes, they came together in a huge explosion of cries, sensations and emotions.

Laying together under the sheets, still sticky with sweat, the two women kissed again as they lay together in the darkness. It had been a few hours since they had first made love, and despite their near exhaustion afterwards, their utter desire for one another had resulted in more of the same.

Siuan was just wondering if Moiraine's ward had been sufficient, when there was a loud knock at the door. Both sitting up instantly, Moiraine gathered the sheets around her as Siuan leaped from the bed to grab a nearby nightgown. Pillow friends often shared more than just their beds with other Novices or Accepted, but common decency dictated that they were subtle about it, at least. The last thing they needed was for someone like Elaida to discover them, Light only knows what she would dream up to hurt the pair.

Siuan lit a candle and opened the door. Tarna Feir, another Accepted, was standing the other side, looking like she'd just been woken herself.  
"Siuan, it's the Aiel, they've turned towards Tar Valon. Merean Sedai woke me and a few others to rouse everyone, we must must be in the Oval Lecture Hall within the next hour. Is Moiraine with you? There's no answer at her door." Tarna tried to peek over Siuan's shoulder. Quickly moving to block her view, Siuan said the first thing that entered her head,  
"Yes... Yes, she's here. We were up later testing each other on the Old Tongue". Stifled laughter burst out from behind Siuan, but in her fluster, Tarna missed it completely.  
"Very well, I'll see you in the hall. Don't be late, or Merean will skin you alive!". She scuttled off down the corridor to the next occupied room, quite some way down the hall. The Tairen woman closed the door, leaning her back against it. She grinned at Moiraine, who still had her face buried in the sheets, almost crying with laughter.

* * *

Laying on her vast bed, hot bath cooling nearby, Siuan sighed as she thought back to the events following that moment. In the hall, every gathered Aes Sedia, Accepted and Novice had been informed that the Aiel war was heading towards Tar Valon. While the Amyrlin was certain the city was safe behind it's shining walls, preparations had to be made. Those preparations meant Siuan and Moraine saw little of each other from then onwards. They managed to share one more night together in the 2 weeks that followed, the night before the dreaded day that Gitara Moroso announced the birth of the Dragon Reborn, before dropping down dead on top of Moiraine. The Amyrlin Seat, Tamra Ospenya, had sworn them to secrecy, and thus, their task had begun.

Nothing was more important than their search for that infant. In an effort to draw attention away from them so that they could go about their search without provoking too much suspicion, Moiraine and Siuan had resolved to do anything it took to make their friendship seem a casual one, including feigned interest in others. Moiraine, being a Cairhienin, seemed to cope better with the job, though her eyes told Siuan otherwise. Over time, Siuan also learned the art of hiding every thought, every emotion, though she was never as proficient at it as Moiraine.

It had been almost 20 years since that day under the tree and the night which followed, and although she had not physically altered much, everything else had changed drastically. She was now in command of all Aes Sedai, overseeing events in every corner of the land. Higher than royalty, she had Kings and Queens at her command, and she did her job well. But all Siuan wanted in return was to have one person at her side, and right now that person was nowhere to be seen.

Moiraine had been out in the world doing her sworn duty, searching for the Dragon Reborn, almost from the moment the two of them were raised to Aes Sedai, neither of them would go back on their promise to find him and ensure he fulfilled his prophecy. But Light, what Siuan would do to switch places with Moiraine's fierce Warder, Lan, just for one moment.

Messages from Moiraine arrived once a month or so, to report her findings, or lack of, more appropriately. Obviously, Moiraine was unable to speak openly of matters other than her task, and even then, her communications had to be encoded. Siuan was lucky to get even a hint of Moiraine's feelings in her reports; discovery of their connection or plans would mean scandal at best, the pair of them stilled at worst. This also meant that on the rare occasions when Moiraine returned to the White Tower, they rarely had time alone. The Amyrlin almost never gave an audience to a person without her Keeper of the Chronicals, Leane Sharif, present.

However, Moiraine was due to return any day now, and the wait was excruciating. It had been over a full year since they had last seen each other, and sending Moiraine away for that long had been one of the most difficult things Siuan Sanche had ever had to do as Amyrlin. Moiraine appeared to take her orders well, but when Siuan sent a summons for her the next morning after having arranged some time alone to say their goodbyes, the first time in years they would have had a chance to be intimate with one another, she was informed there was no sign of the Aes Sedai.

Upon investigation, Siuan discovered that Moiraine had left the tower immediately after the meeting where she had learned she was to be sent away for many months. In her next note back to the Tower, Moiraine had managed to indicate an apology, though no explanation. The pain Siuan had gone though was almost unbearable, and she'd had no choice but to keep it entirely to herself. For the first time in all those years, Siuan doubted Moiraine's love for her. She had been shocked to discover herself thinking of resigning her post as Amyrlin, even disappearing without a trace to join Moiraine, so they could search together – but she knew that was impossible, moments of madness. They were both needed where they were.

Shaking herself, Siuan got up. No use living in the past, we must push on. She removed the stole from her shoulders and placed it on the stand by her mirrored table. Surrounding herself with the One Power, Siuan was preparing to undo her dress when there was a knock on her outer door. Releasing Saidar, Siuan sighed. What could possibly be happening at this time of night that required her attention. Slipping on her most affronted Amyrlin face, she moved into her living quarters.  
"Yes?" She said frostily. Leane entered immediately.  
"My apologies Mother, but you asked to be informed the moment Moiraine Damodred returned to the Tower. She and her Warder arrived a moment ago." Leane added "They have been travelling hard by the look of them."  
For an instant, Siuan's voice would not come, but she recovered quickly, feigning an icy rage,  
"Send her to me immediately, I will see her at once". Leane stepped back ever so slightly.  
"I will bring her myself" the Keeper said, turning and hurrying for the door.  
"No need," Siuan called, "have her come here, I will deal with her alone." Siuan's expression left no room for argument. It was highly irregular for the Amyrlin to see anyone in her personal chambers, let alone unaccompanied. She just hoped Leane would keep her mouth shut.  
"As you wish, Mother" she said, leaving and closing the doors behind her.

Siuan's heart beat out of control as she paced up and down. Despite all the waiting, she suddenly felt unprepared for a meeting with the woman. Had Moiraine's feelings lessened over all these years? Did she now love another?

Siuan stopped. There was more to this than her feelings. Moiraine may have news on the Dragon Reborn, that was far more important than her own personal worries. How foolish she had been, acting as if she was twenty again...

There was a quiet but firm wrap on the door. Summoning every scrap of determination in her body, Siuan slid on her Amyrlin face;  
"Enter."  
The door opened, and a vision in blue floated through the space. Moiraine closed the door behind her.  
"As you called me, Mother, so have I come."  
"What news have you?" Siuan barked. Not a flicker of emotion crossed Moiraine's porcelain features, and her gaze held Siuan's firmly.  
"No news Mother. We were held up crossing the Mora at Jurene, the floods have made the river impassable in places. We... returned at quickly as we could"  
Siuan looked closer at Moiraine; she seemed to be swaying slightly.  
"Child, are you well?" She asked in a slightly less aggressive tone.  
"I'm a little tired from my journey Mother, no doubt I will be able to travel again in the morning, should you have my next destination ready."  
Siuan stepped closer and took a better look at the Aes Sedai before her. Dark circles ringed Moiraine's otherwise perfect eyes, and she looked gaunt, pale, and cold. She wore her blue crystal, suspended in a fine chain threaded through her hair to rest on her forehead. The sight of the gem sparked a memory in Siuan, and she quickly placed a ward over the entire room. Moiraine flinched, she had felt Siuan's use of the power,  
even now, after so long apart...  
"We may speak freely now. So, the Dragon Reborn eludes us still." Siuan stepped closer to Moiraine, "We shall find him, do not give up hope. I've been working hard while you've been searching, I believe I know your next destination."  
"That's good news, Mother. I shall begin my preparations to leave at once." Moiraine turned quickly, but stumbled. Siuan was there in an instant, placing a supportive arm around the other woman.  
"Moiraine, you are exhausted. Sit down"  
"I'll manage thank you Mother, I must..." Moiraine's legs gave out completely. Siuan caught her easily and took her through to the bedroom, where she laid the woman on her bed. Placing her hand on Moiraine's forehead, she discovered the woman was nearly frozen.  
"Light, Moiraine, why didn't you say something?"Siuan rushed to fetch some blankets.  
"It's nothing Mother, the weather was exceptionally cold today, that's all. I will be fine after and some rest." But Moiraine was clearly struggling to keep her eyes open, as she let out a shiver.  
"Please stop calling me that; don't say you have forgotten who I am underneath all the Titles and duties, just like everyone else has." Siuan said, as she dumped a heap of woollen blankets on the bed next to Moiraine and began covering her with them.  
"Siuan..." Moiraine murmured, before her head rolled to the side.

Siuan Sanche had never been much of a healer, but she hadn't been idle in her time as Amyrlin Seat. She'd picked up a few methods from the Yellow Ajah; one never knew when it might come in handy. Embracing Saidar, she pressed her hands to Moiraine's head, and worked at relieving some of the weariness. Within a few minutes, Moiraine stirred, then opened her eyes as Siuan released the power.  
"How do you feel?" Siuan smiled down at Moiraine.  
"Like I've had a few hours of good sleep. Thank you Siuan." Moiraine shivered again as she pushed herself up, and Siuan glanced across the vast room to the hot bath that still waited for her.  
"I know just the thing to get you warm" Moiraine's eyes followed Siuan's,  
"Oh no, I will not impose. I shall light the fire in my room and be perfectly warm in no time, thank you." Moiraine said firmly, as she tried to rise again.  
"I will not hear of it, you shall bathe here. I'm not having you catch your death of cold; someone has to find our missing saviour," Siuan said, arching an eyebrow. "I'll be in the other room if you should need me, there is a clean nightgown in drawers over there ". She rose, and walked to the living quarters, closing the double doors behind her.

She listened out for the splash, and smiled to herself when she eventually heard it. It occurred to her that the anger she had intended to throw at the woman was gone. She was just grateful to be near her again, although she had no clue as to Moiraine's feelings.

After a short time, Moiraine opened the doors. She was wearing one of Siuan's silk nightgowns, and was wrapped in another blanket. Her hair was damp, but there was colour back in her cheeks, and she was no longer shivering. On closer inspection, she looked almost her usual self, but there was still something amiss.  
"Are you feeling better?" Siuan asked?  
"Yes, very much. Thank you Siuan." Moiraine tried to smile, and Siuan got the impression it was almost an alien expression to the woman.  
"You are welcome to spend the night. On your own of course." She hastened to add at the end. What was left of the attempted smile on Moiraine's face faded.  
"Thank you." was all she managed, looking down. Standing there looking so small, Siuan's heart went out to her. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Moiraine, pressing her cheek against her wet hair.  
"It's good to have you back in the Tower." She said quietly. She felt Moiraine's arms slowly encircle her. They stayed like that for a moment, before Siuan released the other woman. Instinctively, Siuan curled a thick strand of wet hair behind Moiraine's ear. As she did so, the Cairhienin closed her eyes. Siuan scolded herself. She didn't want to put the other woman in an awkward position.  
"I'm sorry Moiraine, that was foolish of me." She stepped back slightly, "It was also selfish of me to expect you to feel the same after all this time." It broke her heart to say the words, and she barely held her voice long enough to say them, but she couldn't see Moiraine suffering.  
"No.." It was almost a whisper that escaped Moiraine's lips, but Siuan caught it. Studying the shorter woman's face, Siuan was shocked to see a tear trickle down her cheek. It took every ounce of willpower inside Siuan not to take Moiraine in her arms again.  
"No?" Siuan's brow crinkled as she awaited a response. Moiraine opened her brimming eyes and looked at the blue eyed Amyrlin.  
"Siuan, my love for you has gone nowhere. Why do you think I left the Tower so swiftly after you told me you were sending me away for such a long time? My feelings were hurt, severely. But it took me almost half the time I was away to realise my stupidity," she paused, " I put my emotions before our duty, it was wrong of me" Moiraine closed the gap between them. "But Siuan, I wear this face so often, I sometimes forget how to be myself. It is only around you that I can do that. It had been so long since we could speak alone, and then you told me I was to leave again..."  
"I had plans Moiraine. Plans that I could not speak of when I gave you your orders. You left before they could be fulfilled. We were to have... time together. It was arranged.." Another tear spilled down Moiraine's cheek.  
"I did not know..." She looked down but Siuan raised her chin again,  
"I promise you Moiraine, I will do everything in my power, without endangering our pledge to find the Dragon Reborn, to ensure we see each other alone each time you return to the Tower." The blanket slipped from Moiraine as she put her arms around Siuan's neck, and a genuine smile appeared on her face. After a moment, Moiraine said  
"There's been no one else you know. In all this time, there's only ever been you. I've done what I needed to get what I want, but I've been true to you since our first time.". Siuan grinned back at her,  
"Moiraine, we agreed that things would be hard, I never expected-"  
"I know." Moiraine interrupted, leaning in and kissing Siuan before the Amyrlin could say any more.

Small sounds of pleasure escaped both women as their kiss went on. In truth, it had probably been around four years since they had had a chance to kiss like this, and only then it had been very brief. With the prospect of a whole night ahead of her, Siuan's heart almost beat out of her chest.

After a minute or two, Moiraine took Siuan's hand and led her to the bed, where she undressed the Amyrlin. Naked, Siuan lay down. Her body looked the same as it did when they had first loved each other. As Moiraine took in the sight of her lover, another tear rolled down her face.  
"Come" said Siuan, as she reached for her. Moiraine joined Siuan on the bed, tugging off her silk nightgown, before lowering herself onto the Tairen.

Siuan's arousal soared at the touch of Moiraine's body, and even more so, once the other woman's mouth found her breasts. Running her fingers through Moiraine's fast-drying dark hair, she arched her back and closed her eyes, as she felt a tongue run down her belly, over her hips and down the inside of her thigh.

In truth, Siuan came moments after Moiraine's mouth covered her clit, tongue flicking the sensitive nub, but the pleasure was too great for her to stop the other woman once the waves of orgasm had ceased. Moiraine continued, slipping two slim fingers inside Siuan as she did so. The Amyrlin held back for as long as she could, but a second climax took her minutes after the first. Moiraine kissed her way back up Siuan's body and finally reached her face. Siuan could taste herself on Moiraine as she thrust her tongue into the Cairhienin's mouth. Doing so made Moiraine squirm, and another pleasure-laden groan came from her. Knowing full well the level of Moiraine's longing, Siuan cupped the other woman's breast and kissed her body gently. She intended to make her wait a little, after all, if Moiraine hadn't run off after their last meeting, this would have come a lot sooner.

She made her way down Moiraine's perfect torso. Siuan knew the use of Saidar had preserved their youth somewhat, but she strongly suspected that even if Moiraine had not been Aes Sedai, she would still look much the same as she did now. Seating herself carefully across Moiraine's hips, she ensured the thoroughly wet area between her legs was in contact with Moiraine's equally wet parts. Moiraine let out a few choice words, as Siuan gently ground down on her. The rocking movement, made slick by both women's juices, soon had both of them panting in ecstasy. Moiraine's hands rose to Siuan's breasts, thumbs brushing her nipples. Leaning back slightly, Siuan enhanced their contact significantly; she could feel every detail of Moiraine's most intimate parts sliding against her. Just then, Moiraine let out a long shuddering sigh, she placed her hands on Siuan's hips as she lifted her pelvis in time with Siuan's movements, then arched her back as she came, calling Siuan's name.

With a small smile, Siuan moved, placing herself between Moiraine's legs. She tentatively licked along the inside of one slim thigh, then the other. Moiraine's fingers trailed through Siuan's dark hair, as the Amyrlin slipped her tongue inside the Cairhienin. Moiraine's head snapped back as she gasped and, moments later, Siuan held on to her when a second orgasm rolled through her, more fierce than the first, judging by the marks Moiraine's fingernails left on Siuan's wet back.

The winter sun crept in through the Amyrlin's window, melting the frost that had built up during the night. Siuan stirred, then sleepily smiled to herself as Moiraine's arm tightened around her waist. The moment was a happy one, but it did not last long. Moraine would have to leave soon, via the ancient passageways built into the walls of the White Tower. Maybe they could utilise the secret tunnels again in the future, if it was possible. Siuan hoped so.  
"Good Morning," Moiraine said, tucked in tightly behind Siuan. The Amyrlin turned over to face her, and was sad to see a mixture of emotions on the Aes Sedai's regal face. "I was hoping the sun would never rise, or at least that it would permit us a few more hours. I should leave soon Siuan."  
"I know. I'd like you to stay in the Tower for a few days before you leave for your next destination."  
Moiraine smiled and nodded,  
"If you wish. I suppose it is too much to hope that we can see each other like this again, at least until I next return." She touched Siuan's face, and the Amyrlin covered her hand with her own,  
"I'll see what I can arrange." Siuan replied. Moiraine smiled again, and laid her head on Siuan's shoulder.  
The women lay in silence for a while, contemplating what lie ahead for them. Siuan broke the quietness,  
"Moiraine, we risk much, every day. If anything happens to me, I need to know that you will be happy. Find someone else to keep you warm at night, to talk to, to love if you must, but don't waste your life mourning me." she turned and looked seriously at the Aes Sedai.  
"Siuan, we've discussed this. We agreed long ago that both of us should do whatever we must to get our job done, and that includes taking a lover if necessary. It's not something I would ever do lightly, but I'm prepared to do it. You should be too." Moiraine added quietly.  
"Yes, I am. We can not put our personal feelings before the importance of our task. But know this, Moiraine: I love you with every ounce of my being, and I always will, no matter what. Nothing will ever change my feelings." Siuan took in the sight of the beautiful dark haired Cairhienin, who was looking at her with tears forming in her eyes.  
"Not even death will keep us apart Siuan" Moiraine whispered.

They embraced, and held one another until the time came that Moiraine had to leave. She could not be found in the Amyrlin's apartments, let alone her bed. As she picked up the last of her belongings, Moiraine said,  
"So where am I to go next? Surely there isn't a place left that I haven't searched," she joked,  
"It's a small place, there are only four villages there for you to investigate, but my research looks promising." She handed Moiraine her blue gem with the golden chains attached.  
"Really, what's the name of it?" Moiraine enquired, taking her stone.  
"The Two Rivers" Siuan replied,  
"I see. Maybe this time we'll find him. But once we do, our true journey begins." There was a knock on the outer door. The two women looked at each other, eyes widening.  
"Quickly, in here. I will see you this evening." Siuan led Moiraine to an ordinary looking panel on the wall. She pressed a small section near the top, and a tiny doorway swung open, revealing a dark stairway. Moiraine quickly stepped through, a ball of light appeared, hovering above her hand.  
"This evening then," Moiraine beamed back at Siuan, as she pulled the door closed.

Siuan straightened her stole, as she strode to the living quarters. "Come" she called. Leane entered swiftly.  
"Good Morning Mother. Here is some correspondence that arrived for you during the night." She handed Siuan some papers. "Would you like me to run through your appointments for today?"  
"Thank you Leane," Siuan feigned interest in Leane's ramblings. Nobles visiting, trade agreements to read, a never-ending pile of paperwork to sort through, the usual daily activities. But her mind was elsewhere. They would find the Dragon Reborn any day now, Siuan felt it. What did the Pattern have in store for them after that?  
The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills... the Amyrlin thought to herself.


End file.
